Anyway. Trying to jumpkick my brain. My language is getting vague and poetry is hiding from me. I decided to read some stuff I had started and never finished.Some of it was interesting but I had no idea where to take it next. This seems done. I only changed a few words and some weird enjambment.Anyone got any thoughts? No idea of a title
When we left
time folded up the town,
stored it away
in some dusty drawer.
I never doubted
the population logged off
with a sigh of relief
they no longer
had to keep up the pretense.
An artist
at an easel had painted
cloud-streaked sky,
quaint shops,
rural landscapes.
Only our stepping
through the canvas
gave the image
breath.
It was a brief reality.
Today I crossed the street,
peered at window displays that seemed
unchanged.
I drove the short three miles
to pasturelands where cows
moved slow motion
across sweet grass.
I couldn’t believe
a world went on without us--
without you beside me
studying a road map,
calling out the names
of towns like this
with histories
that only had a present life
as long as we were there.
3 comments:
Oh!
My comment.
I have read it in a previous life, haven't I: but this is revised and improved.
I especially love the opening.
How's that for a crit that would not pass muster on the PFFA?
What a very lovely poem. Thanks to you...
Lou(Dallas)
Hello and thank you. Judy
Post a Comment